How to find love after 40

How to find love after 40

When my first marriage ended I felt as though my world had come to an end.  The betrayal of a cheating spouse is worse than anything. I felt deeply hurt and broken, I was too stressed to think straight. My friends tried to comfort me but that didn’t help either. I never thought I would ever get over it.

Then I slowly picked up my scattered self. I refused to stay beaten and worked on getting my sexy back, changed my attitude, started going out and hanging out with friends and slowly life had a meaning. I realized how much I had neglected my life to live in someone else’s shadow and which was the main source of my frustration. I vowed from then on to be my number one lover, to love myself more than anyone would ever love me and to make me happy regardless.

Two years down the line, after dating a couple of guys, boom, I met my first boyfriend from 16years back who was also recently divorced. Six months later and we were pregnant and married and living the blissful life that I always desired. Its 2 years now and I couldn’t be happier. He is the best man I ever had and we have the best marriage and relationship. And that is how love found me and gave a second chance when I least expected it.

Just like wine,  love gets better with each chance because you are now wiser and know what you want and what you wouldn’t take. You can smell a troubled relationship from far.

So if you are looking for love, do not despair. Your soul mate is out there looking for you too. It’s just that time hasn’t given you two a chance.

. They say life starts at 40, this is when you truly know yourself and are emotionally mature and independent. There is no age limit for love, our brains are not wired to stop loving after a certain period. We can fall in love so many times in this lifetime.

However, dating after 40 is not easy I tell you. You will come across so many challenges before you even get a serious person to go on a second date with.

 At 40 you probably have been married or been in a long-term relationship and so you have been out of touch with the dating scene. So juggling between dating, kids, a career, aging parents and an active social life can be quite daunting a task. Finding the time to go out on a date or even go out and look for a mate is a big challenge.

So what are some of the other challenges that you would expect?

Where to find love is the biggest puzzle. When I was ready to start dating, I didn’t know where to start. I mean, why can’t we just walk into a mall, choose our ideal qualities in a mate and come out with a ready package to start out love journey with.  I went through a couple of bad dates, wasted time and effort, unserious men and pathetic personalities. I wish I had known there were alternative ways of finding love then.

You can try online dating sites. The trick here is knowing how to set up a killer profile. This is what will get you a couple of promising dates. A killer profile must have:

  1. Have a professionally taken photo. Use a photo that brings out your best features. Don’t worry about your big forehead, wrinkled eyes or any other flaw. Focus on your best. Wear your best outfit and put on a smile. This is your first impression so make it wow, go all out with makeup and a killer hairstyle but be authentic as well. You don’t want to look like some cover girl in a fashion magazine. Another tip is to take a photo which shows you are engaged in an activity, let’s say horse riding or something else that you love doing.
  2. Check your spellings and grammar. Wrongly spelled words are such a turn-off and show carelessness
  3. Be honest, do not stretch the truth. Nobody wants to finally meet a totally different person from their profiles.
  4. Avoid clichés, to stand out be different, be specific and be mysterious and let a prospect want to meet the person behind the profile. Saying I like to travel is so cliché but saying I like to travel to Africa and enjoy the African safari is more interesting. It tells more about the kind of person you are.
  5. Be positive in your tone and entire profile. We all want positivity around us to avoid any negative words or comments. Let your profile speak bubbly, cheerful, enthusiastic and sweet.
  6. Keep updating your profile every so often. The key here is about attracting your match and not keeping off the weirdos and freaks

When meeting your online dates for the first time, please be cautious. Meet in a public place and notify a friend or relative of whereabouts.

Besides dating sides, you can find love in the social media. Join one if you haven’t, update your profile and be active on the platform. Follow people who interest you and be sure to appear like a very social person.

You can find the love of your life at social gatherings. I know of many single people who flock churches to find a partner. You can try that as well but don’t be fooled that there are no quacks masquerading in church. Be cautious.

Entertainment spots are other great places to find love. Go out often and hang out with friends or even just alone. However, to meet a potential go to places where you are likely to meet people of your social status and interests It is not so hard as it looks just be curious but cautious in your endeavors.  If you have kids it becomes alittle bit harder but you will find a good partner, don’t fret.

Everyone deserves to be loved no matter their age.


Daisy Chepkoech is a Freelance Blog Writer, Social Media Manager and Trainer. She is also the Marketing Director at Dake Business Solutions.  Daisy holds a Bachelors degree in Communication and Media Technology from Maseno University.