3 Ways to restore respect in your relationship
Respect is a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. For every relationship to stand the test of time, respect has to be maintained. There is no two way about that.
We probably all at some point have been guilty of taking our stresses out on our partner. But if this has become a constant way you relate, then you need to take action quickly to restore it. As I mentioned a lack of respect can lead to divorce.
When rebuilding respect it is important to know that respect is not just the absence of negative behaviour, but also the presence of positive behaviours.
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Define each others roles and respect it
The chances are you agreed on the roles you were going to have in the marriage and home. The biggest way to show respect is to support and appreciate each other’s efforts. Compliment and thank your partner. We all like to be praised for the efforts and gifts we bring to the relationship, even if it is our role. This restores respect because being noticed and valued is important.
Respect each others viewpoint and feelings
Disagreements are normal and healthy in a marriage. Vicious personal attacks at your spouse’s character or personality is not healthy for your relationship.
You can disagree without belittling or hurting someone. This is the difference between standing up for yourself and being defensive.
Everyone has a right to their own feelings and viewpoint and all feelings are valid. It is disrespectful to say to someone “you shouldn’t feel that way” “you’re too sensitive” “stop crying” or your “over-reacting”. This doesn’t help you remain close.
For respect to be present you need to validate each other’s feelings and point of view, even if you do not agree. Simply saying “I can see how you may feel that way.”
Respect each other opinion
This is critical for a supportive close relationship. The first step in respecting your partner’s opinion is to ask for it. Decisions that affect you will often affect each other. As Steven Covey said, “The key to commitment is involvement”. When you involve your partner you are demonstrating respect and honouring their value.
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